Que Sera Sera

Que Sera Sera

When I was just a little girl

I asked my mother

What will I be?

Will I be pretty?

Will I be rich?

Here’s what she said to me:

Que Sera Sera

Whatever will be, will be

The future is not ours to see

(A song by Doris Day)

I guess that is really the perfect answer since we are not entitled to predict the future

My ma may have imagined me as a good doctor, a successful teacher or a nagging wife,

But did she ever visualize me as a MOTHER?

I suppose not

For God’s sake, my mom cannot imagine I am cooking

Even till yesterday, she told me: “I cannot believe that you are a mother’

She completed the sentence saying: ‘and I am not able to enjoy it”

Let’s drop it!

The rest of the sentence is not related to what we are saying here

Having a baby is like having a tattoo on your face, you kinda wanna be fully committed

As Elizabeth Gilbert stated in Eat Pray Love on behalf of her best friend

What I say is: Having a baby teaches you

How to be responsible!

How to be patient!

How to be 24/7-worried!

It is a heavenly hell

You are practically living in hell

But it is heavenly

I am aware that many will say : is that girl a total nut job?

No, I am not

Newsflash: it is true

Most moms suffer great ordeals carrying their babies, delivering them, and raising them

Yet, they never complain

When I got the results of my pregnancy test, I could not figure out how I felt

Surprised?

Excited?

Worried?

My first reaction was screaming out loud: “O, my God! I am having a baby! Yaaaaaaaaaaay!”

In short, I went through hell throughout my pregnancy

(FYMI: for your medical information, lol)

Heartburn

Urinal infection

Constipation and hemorrhoids (from which I am still being treated)

Vomiting (I kept vomiting till the day I was admitted to the hospital for delivery)

Diarrhea

Contractions

Leg cramps

Backaches

Stretch marks

Mood swings

Depression

Frequent bathroom trips

Trouble eating (could not eat ¾ kinds of food)

Trouble breathing

Trouble sleeping

Ah (a sigh of relief)

All the above was a piece of cake,

Compared to my developing motherly concerns

What to expect: the first year gives you:

What you want but not when you need

Word of Honesty:

The book is a masterpiece when it comes to the physical changes of the baby

How he/she reacts to the outside-the-womb environment?

How to change diapers?

How to breast-feed/ bottle-feed?

Lots of how-TOs

(I cannot actually list them all)

It is a worthy-to-buy WOW directory

Since I know I can talk the hind leg off a donkey (be talkative)

Let’s cut to the chase (get to the point)!

Anyway, what to expect will never tell you how to raise a baby?

How to bring up a child in that era?

How many NOs you have to say?

(New NOs, enlisted to the keep-away-from list; electricity, matches, windows, etc.)

No preserved food

No Pepsi or Chips

No fast food

No cholesterol

No Cinema (or at least not under supervision)

No Misguiding Media

No school education

No Violence cartoon

How much bad news you have to deliver?

President Mubarak is still the president for 40 years now

Gamal Mubarak will subsequently naturally take the presidency

Elections will be already forged. So, don’t bother voting!

Pakistan is occupied by The US and Israeli forces

As well as Iraq, Afghanistan, Golan heights

Allah only knows what else

There may be no Palestine no more

Global warming may kill the whole world

Misguiding media controls the people’s minds

Honest writers and journalists’ opinions are oppressed

Egyptian graduates with high marks cannot find jobs

Egyptians cannot even find bread to eat

People die in massacres, volcanoes, earthquakes and Egyptian queues

To that I say:

Que Sera Sera

Whatever will be, will be

May Allah have mercy on us!